It does confuse me sometimes on how fathers can have children and actively chose not to be in their lives. But I have come to understand that it is not my job to make a “father” be something they do not want to be.
Doing so leads to frustration for you and frustration for the child by having a father jump in and out of her life, when it doesn’t want to be there in the first place.
When I decided to stop trying to make my daughter’s father, be a father; I realized that it was in my daughter’s best interest anyway.
After all, how could he teach my baby to be anything if he was not a man himself? It is better to let a man not fit to be a father go.
I had to be the example of what a responsible adult looked like. I worked harder, I sought to give my baby the good life that she deserves.
Being a single mother taught me that I could not make excuses. My kid didn’t ask to be here, she did not ask for her father to not be in her life, and therefore she did not deserve to have a bad life due to the situation that her parents created.
It was never my wish to be a single mother and it was never my wish for my baby to be raised without a father. However, my daughter being without a father does not mean that her life is doomed.
And now that I filed for custody atleast we put an end to emotional manipulation and blame game. Atleast you were given a chance to prove you want to be in her life. It will be easier to explain your absence this way. Atleast if she ever asks I will finally have a polite straight answer. I don’t even know what to call you. You haven’t been around for a single moment of her life, nor have you expressed any regret for that. I cannot bring myself to call you her father, her dad or anything remotely close to that. Your sperm donation was appreciated, but it does not grant you any titles.
As years passed, the burden became lighter, and the weight that lies upon my shoulders has diminished. Today, with all of me, I decide to let go of you. I will not waste nights crying over someone who did not think twice about making the choice that ruined my life. I will not waste hours contemplating why you decided our baby was not worth staying for. Although I am eager to let you go, the part of me that remains broken by you swells under pressure.
Today, I forgive you. I forgive you, not because I feel that you deserve it or that I feel you may change. I finally forgive you for myself. It’s time to let you go. I hope you’ve had a nice life, because since you left, I got to have one, too.